The KC DB roster

This one is brought to you from Fiveholefanatics.

Scenario:

Kansas City has finally been granted it's expansion squad. The quirky ownership group of Charles Wang, Oren Koules and Boots Del Baggio decide to go an unorthodox route to hire a General Manger by holding a "GM raffle". The raffle is open to all fans, pundits and amateur know-it-alls. The entrants names will be put into a giant purple drum and the winner will be chosen randomly by a blind-folded Mike Milbury.

For the hell of it, you decide to send in an entry. Why not? Surely almost anyone could do better than, say, the current Islanders or Maple Leafs rosters, right?

Anyways, the day comes and, of course, Mad Mike pulls your name from the big purple drum. During your entry meetings, the ownership group confides that they will be abandoning their previous "total interference" management style and will be giving you full reign over the club. In fact, they encourage you to be completely idiosyncratic and unorthodox in your team building.

With that in mind and with a basic knowledge of in-group/out-group dynamics, you decide the best way to go about creating an expansion roster is to collect the most hate-able and reviled players available. Being despised by the rest of the league might galvanize the fan-base and lead to a cohesive dressing room. On that basis you target every jerk you can find.

KC-DB fantasy draft rules:

- Draft a 23 man roster of the guys you love to hate.

- Current players only - an historical roster of this type would be a daunting task.

- Work with current salaries and the established salary cap of 56.7M.

So here is my edition of the KC DB's:

Forwards:
1. Todd Bertuzzi, RW (1.95)
2. Ryan Smyth, LW (6.25)
3. Sean Avery, LW (4)
4. Kirk Maltby, LW (0.833)
5. Daniel Carcillo, LW (0.8)
6. Henrik Sedin, C (3.575)
7. Daniel Sedin, LW (3.575)
8. Alex Burrows, LW (0.483)
9. George Parros, RW (0.55)
10. Jiri Tlusty, RW (0.855)
11. Steve Downie, RW (0.822)
12. Mike Ribiero, C (5)
13. Zenon Konopka, C (0.5)

1- D.SEDIN-H.SEDIN-BERTUZZI
2- SMYTH-RIBIERO-TLUSTY
3- BURROWS-AVERY-CARCILLO
4- MATLBY-KONOPKA-PARROS
E- DOWNIE

Wow, where do I start here, lots of my most hated players got passed over becuase of the cap but I think I have chosen a bunch of forwards that no one likes, especially me. The Sedin Sisters, everything the same, the Vancouver Canucks and that is just the start of the list why I hate the sisters. Big Bert, I still cant believe he is a member of my beloved Flames but needs no introduction to this team. Ryan Smyth, greasy, never has his ass anywhere but in front of the goalie's face, former Oiler, enough said. Tlusty made the team for the simple fact that he took and maybe still takes naked pic's of himself, that is just wrong. I hate Burrows, he is a pest but never fights his own fights, always turtles. Parros makes the team for his sick stash. Finally you might wonder about Zenon Konopka, he just has a sick name and comes at a cheap price. The rest of the players dont need any introduction.

Total: 29.193

Defense:
1. Chris Pronger (6.25)
2. Sheldon Souray (5.4)
3. Derian Hatcher (3.5)
4. Hal Gill (2.075)
5. Anders Eriksson(1.5)
6. Doug Murray (0.55)
7. Boris Valabik (0.85)

1- PRONGER-MURRAY
2- GILL-SOURAY
3- HATCHER-VALABIK
E- ERIKSSON

Once again tough decisions were made on the blueline for cap purposes. I had a incredibly tough time passing over Bryan McCabe but at 5.4 million dollars he was the odd man out. I dont think Pronger would be left off anyones KC DB's team and for good reason. Souray, if you want to know what I think of him read my post from last July when he signed with the Oilers. Gill and Hatcher are both gigantic pylons. Slow, hitting hard and I hate them, what was Pittsburgh thinking giving up 2 draft picks for Gill? I didn't know about Valabik until I read about him on Fiveholefanatics team. He appeared in only 7 games last season and racked up 42 PIMS. I think I speak for every Flames fan by putting Eriksson on this team.

Total: 20.125

Goalies:
1. Dwayne Roloson (3.667)
2. Andrew Raycroft (0.8)

1- ROLOSON
2- RAYCROFT

Roloson is easily one of the biggest whiners I have seen in recent years, it also doesn't help that he plays for the Oilers. Raycroft has fallen off the face of the earth the last couple of years, but he gets the nod simply because the Avalanche signed this guy this summer to HELP their goaltending issue, good luck with that!

Total: 4.467

TEAM TOTAL: 53.785